Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"
Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the ... down
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris does not sleep.He waits
More are here: http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/
:)